WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Don't Wet Yourself

     If you've read many (or any of my posts), you know that I am not always politically correct. My posts, columns, writings- whatever you want to call them- always include a Bible verse and some sort of lesson relevant to that verse, but to say I am not a little borderline with some of my analogies and musings would be an exaggeration. If you took a look at this week's title, you know that's the case with this particular offering.
     I am a college baseball coach by profession. Quite often, during moments of high pressure, I will remind one of my players this: "Don't wet yourself." It's designed to make them chuckle and release some of the tension, but some go ahead and wet themselves anyway. To which I will say to them later, "Hey, I could see it running down your leg. You let the pressure get to you." But fortunately for my team, most of the time they don't wet themselves.
     I shall now compare and contrast two situations where folks I encountered were facing high pressure situations. The first occurred several years ago at a hotel in Florida. The second occurred this past week at a McDonald's drive thru.
     My college baseball team arrived to check into a hotel in Sanford, Florida on that fateful day, only to discover they had totally overbooked due to biker week. Despite our reservations, there simply weren't enough rooms and the increasingly agitated crowd of travelers were growing more frustrated by the minute. Three adult human employees were trying their best to work through the situation but were having no success. The tension was thicker than presidential election night. At one point, the middle aged man who was attempting to explain the situation to my assistant coach and me, looked at his colleague next to him and said, "I can't take this anymore. I'm going crazy."
     And he left. We stood there for several minutes while a bus full of players waited in vain for their room keys. I snuck a glance into the back room after about ten minutes, and there he was, hiding and smoking a cigarette. Bedlam had ensued and tempers were flaring. During that moment, he wet himself. (Okay, I didn't see it running down his leg, but figuratively speaking, I'm certain it happened).
     It's a long story but it didn't get resolved, partly because Mr. Scaredy Wet Pants had melted under the pressure. (I don't know if Scaredy Wet Pants is spelled correctly or not, but don't tell me it's not a thing. I saw it in the flesh that day).
     Recently I pulled up to a McDonald's drive thru asking only for a small strawberry smoothie. Quick and easy, huh? Not so much. Just as I pulled up, a couple van loads of soccer players poured into the Mickey D's and just like at the hotel in Florida, bedlam ensued. I decided to stick it out since I had already ordered. After several long minutes, I finally arrived at the window. What I saw inside could have been described as utter chaos. Only it wasn't.
     A teenage kid employee asked me if I would mind pulling up. Before doing so, I noticed that the few employees on duty were all teenagers. And I also noticed that they were busting their rear ends trying to fill orders. I looked hard to see if any of their pants showed any evidence of them wetting themselves. Totally dry.
     I spent somewhere between 20-25 minutes (maybe more) purchasing and finally receiving a strawberry smoothie that day. Eventually a smiling young teenage girl employee popped out the side door and handed me a large smoothie along with an apology. "Sorry about your wait, I know it was forever, so I got you a large instead of a small." I thanked her and assured her it was no problem and wished her well in dealing with the crowd inside.
     The Bible speaks of pressure quite often. James 1:12 says: "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial" and Proverbs 24:10 reads: "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength." Translation: When you're under pressure, don't wet yourself. Take a deep breath, whisper a short prayer, and rely on God to help you navigate the situation . He has placed you in the situation for a reason, and He will give you strength equal to the task if- and that's a big if-  you remain steadfast in your faith in Him and don't lose your cool.
     I was impressed with the kids at the McDonald's recently. For all the complaints and mean looks they likely receive when things get backed up, I think they probably deserve a few compliments. They kept their cool, went about the task to the best of their abilities, and were polite to everyone involved. But best of all, they didn't wet themselves, which the teenager in charge of the mopping that day surely appreciated.