I LIke the Kid Who Doesn't Like the Cussin'

Recently a colleague of mine spent nine innings in the dugout of the team I coach during a college baseball game. He confessed to me later that his friends had properly warned him that he needed to be prepared for some rough language along the way. He also admitted afterwards that the coaching staff and team members didn’t live up to those expectations. (Thank goodness he didn’t stay for the second game of the doubleheader.) Come to think of it, the opposing team’s players and coaches accounted for the vast majority of the improprieties during that second game, evidenced by the fact that we had no one ejected and they did. I hear bad words occasionally and I’m not a fan of them during a baseball game or anywhere else. I’m convinced a person can make their point or express their frustration without “dropping bombs”. One of my fellow coaching brethren rattled off the most entertaining replacement curse I’ve ever heard during a game a year or two ago while arguing an umpire’s call. His utterance could best be described as “Jimineeeeeeeeeee Cricket!” He masterfully rolled the last syllable of “Jiminy” and placed strong emphasis on the word “Cricket”. It was the cleanest and most artistic expression of frustration I have ever heard. A middle school boy from California is now one of my heroes. His name is McKay Hatch and he started a website called nocussing.com. Sick of hearing curses from his classmates, he has challenged them to use words like barnacles, (borrowed from Spongebob Squarepants) and other words like flip and pickles when they fail a test or strike out with the bases loaded. McKay has been featured on FOX News, Jay Leno, and Dr. Phil among others. But here’s the part that blows my mind. McKay has been the recipient of over 60,000 threatening emails, many claiming intent to kill the teen. You may recall from a previous column that a replacement favorite in the Stroupe household is Crud! We even to try to avoid Crud when possible but every once in a while a pinky toe stumped by a table leg deserves some extra emotion. Our current Vice President forgot to use a replacement word before a recent press conference. In his partial defense, Mr. Biden didn’t realize the microphone would pick up the “F” word he spoke into the President’s ear just after he introduced him. Even so, America’s ears bled and McKay and I were disappointed. Not because we’re perfect but rather because we are looking for leaders to stand up and be good role models. The Vice President should put a dollar in McKay’s “No Cussing Jar”. Some people claim that replacement curse words are just as bad as the originals because people are actually implying the originals when they say the replacements. Okay, I get the point. But by that reasoning, a person could shout out a bad one and then claim they were implying the replacement. Either way, I’m proud of McKay Hatch and I’m proud my baseball players behaved the day my friend joined us in the dugout. But for the life of me, I still can’t understand why the Jiminy Cricket anyone would send death threats to a kid who’s tired of hearing people curse. Hang in there, McKay. You rock.