Playing Second Fiddle on the Third Page is Fine With Me

Joey the Clown circa 1970 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you’re reading this in the newspaper, there’s a good chance this column is not on the front page of this section. Sometimes it is, sometimes it’s not. I’m certainly not complaining- simply making an observation. So if indeed you’re reading this column in the newspaper, flip to the front page now and check out Pam Stone’s column. Funny stuff. Welcome back. On those occasions when Pam Stone has something to say, she gets the front page and I end up somewhere between the engagements and the church announcements. I have noticed that Mrs. Stone’s picture is larger than mine (and much more attractive) and I’m guessing she has more space to write if she wants it. And I’m cool with that. She’s a professional. I’m a self-proclaimed hopeless amateur. She has name recognition. Hardly anybody can even pronounce my last name. She appeared on the television show “Coach” from 1989 to 1997. I appeared for 1.7 seconds in a taping of “Joey the Clown” when my kindergarten class visited the set back in 1970. Pam’s show raced to the top of the prime time ratings for eight years. Joey came on at 7 a.m. on Saturday mornings and got cancelled within days of my appearance. Okay, you may recall that I also appeared on “Midnight Special” in 1980 when Olivia Newton-John sang to me for a few seconds. True, but I’m guessing most everybody was looking at Olivia instead of me so I’m not counting it. Mrs. Stone has also been the Female Stand Up Comedian of the year a while back and now hosts a radio talk show. Me? I can’t even get my own kids to laugh at my jokes and the local cable sports show I co-hosted a few years back was lined up against the wall and summarily executed after one forgettable season. Resentful I am not. I have no problem existing (writing) in Pam Stone’s shadow. We share a commonality. She appeared on “Coach” as a women’s basketball coach and I am a baseball coach in real life. We both have existed in realms where everything revolved around competition. But writing is not about competition. True writers don’t try to outwit or outlast each other. There’s no scoreboard, rankings, or ratings to contend with. A writer’s victory is the clear expression of an idea. We don’t really care for comparisons and pecking orders among our fellow writing brethren and sistren. (I realize “sistren” is not a word, but I’m proud to be known for butchering proper English and making up my own words.) Recently I took the bold step of sending a friend request to Pam Stone on Facebook. Should she accept, I shall send her a link to this column. If I’m lucky she will invite my family and me to the next “Coach” reunion show and I will invite her to accompany us on the Joey the Clown victory tour. In the meantime, I will concede the front page to Pam. I’m content in the engagement announcement section. And I will continue to laugh out loud when I read her stuff. And someday, just maybe Mrs. Stone will consider me worthy of being called one of her writing brethren. And I will be proud to include her among my sistren.