WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Glory

     One of my favorite movies of all time is Glory. Based on a true story, it details the history of the all-black 54th Massachusetts regiment in the Civil War whose commander was Colonel Shaw, a white officer, played by Matthew Broderick. At one point in the movie, a black soldier, John Rawlins (played by Morgan Freeman) is presented the honor of becoming a Sergeant Major. After receiving his stripes and sword, Rawlins leans close to Shaw and whispers, "I'm not sure I'm wanting this, Sir," to which Shaw, who was basically given no choice when appointed to be the commander, replies, "I know exactly how you feel."
     Realizing that most of you who read these ramblings of mine already know that I spent most of my previous existence as a college baseball coach, I feel the need to provide some background for those occasional desperate readers who are tuning in for the first time. For 33 years I coached baseball, the last 30 as a college coach. I retired from coaching this past May and began a new venture as a Sociology professor at a community college. In addition to that, I've been serving as a worship speaker on summer youth mission trips since 2010 and occasionally filling in at churches whose pastors were on vacation or sick on a given Sunday.
     For many years I have felt the nudge of God preparing me for possible pastoral ordination at some point. This past summer, while serving as worship speaker six nights in a row to a group of youths and adults on a mission trip in Puerto Rico, I began to sense the nudge turning into a push. When I was asked to provide indefinite pulpit supply for a local church this past September, the pushing ended and the calling emerged. God was telling me it was time for me to pursue ordination.
     During the ordination process that followed I was asked the question by the council, "Why do you need to be ordained?" I actually quoted the Glory scene and then explained, "I don't need to be ordained, I'm not even sure I want to be ordained. I just know God has called me to be ordained." The council appreciated that answer and even commented that it was preferable to someone who felt they needed or had to be ordained. Relieved I was.
     I wouldn't say I've been running from the call all these years. I would say I've been preparing for it. And now that God has called loud and clear, I'm reminded of the scene where Isaiah receives a specific calling from God in Isaiah 6:8-  "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send?' and I said, 'Here I am, send me.'"
     The time is now. Answer the call I must. But that doesn't mean I'm qualified, confident, or giddy about it. I feel a little like Sergeant Major Rawlins. I'm not sure I'm capable. Which is a good way for me to feel, because I'm not. That means I will be totally dependent on God's strength instead of my own.
     Having been confirmed by the council, I will officially become ordained as a pastor on December 29 at the church where I've been filling in since September (Love my Calvary Baptist family). I have considered the possibility of placing security guards at each exit on ordination day, not to keep people out, but to keep me in, just in case I try to escape the calling in the middle of the service. "If I try to sneak past you, throw me back in and make me stay," I shall tell them.
     On second thought, maybe security guards won't be necessary, because there will be folks there who I could never run out on- including my wife, my three sons, and my parents. But most especially, I don't want to run from God. That didn't work out well for Jonah in the Bible and I don't fancy finding myself floating in the gastrointestinal juices of a humpback whale.
     When explaining to the council what I believe to be my calling, I told them I feel that God wants to use me to provide short term pastoral service to churches in transition. Churches who have had pastors leave suddenly for sickness, for another calling, or whatever reason. That's what He's calling me to do . . . for now. Only He knows what I'll be doing in the future. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy and perform my ministry as a college instructor while also being available to churches who need someone to fill in for a period of time.
     I'm not sure I'm wanting this, Sir . . . but I'm willing to accept the call. And I pray that it will never be about me or bringing any glory to myself or any other person, but that it will always be about God's Kingdom and His Glory.