Check out your food closely before eating it

The Nun Bun- Looks like Mother Teresa?

The Pringle’s company is at a disadvantage if you ask me. They make those potato chips whose geometric configuration allows them to stack perfectly on top of one another. Thus each chip is robotically identical to the next. Profoundly boring.

No one will ever attempt to sell a Pringle’s chip on Ebay. Not true with other potato chip brands. Those with unique personalities occasionally thrill us with their uniqueness. Recently a potato chip came out of the bag looking a lot like the state of Florida. Sold to the highest bidder.

I will resist the temptation to explore in this column what would possess someone to desire ownership of a potato chip shaped like Florida. I stand not in judgment, though I remain curious.

I would, however, like to offer further examples of foods that have emerged from their containers displaying various recognizable shapes.

1. Cheesy Chuck- It popped out of a Cheeto bag looking exactly like Chuck Norris in his finest military stance, poised to strike against terrorists, hostage takers, and other up-to-no-gooders. Cheesy Chuck is even toting a weapon. He sold on the internet for $16.

2. Ca-shoe- From a can of nuts emerged a cashew whose dimensions precisely resembled a high-heeled woman’s shoe. Instead of immediately attempting to cash in (pun intended) on his good fortune, its discoverer took the high road and proudly displays his trophy on his kitchen shelf in Seattle.

3. Unsolved Mystery- I’m cheating here. This listing has nothing to do with food, but fits nicely into the context of this column. It is a patch of ground on the Gardner-Webb baseball field where grass simply will not grow. Because of its profound mysteriousness and the fact that it is surrounded by Bermuda grass, we refer to it as the Bermuda Triangle. At one point, some grass creeped around its edges and it looked exactly like the state of Idaho. It has been sodded in completely now but whether it will survive the upcoming summer is yet to be determined.

4. How to spend your hard-earned dollar- This one, like all the others, is true though you’ll have trouble believing it. (Look it up on the internet if you wish.) Two sharp-eyed sisters from Virginia recognized that one of their Corn Flakes resembled the state of Illinois. They figured out a way to advertise online and the owner of a traveling museum in Texas paid them $1,350 for it. He even drove to Virginia to claim his treasure, fearing it would be damaged in the mail otherwise.

5. The Nun Bun- Cinnamon buns can make your arteries harden, but this one warmed the heart of a baker in Tennessee when he noticed it looked like Mother Teresa’s countenance. At the time, Mother Teresa expressed a sense of humor about the breakfast treat, admitting that it did resemble her and eventually agreeing to let it be known as the Nun Bun. Unfortunately some overzealous treasure hunter broke into the café on Christmas Day of 2005 and stole the artifact. The café owner described it as being like a death in the family. I pity the ultimate fate of the thief.

There’s more but I must be going. I’m about to open a bag of Gummy Bears and make sure none of them look like me.