Everyone Should be Entitled to Their Aha! Moments

I could get sued for writing this column. But I feel it would be irresponsible of me to shy away simply due to the possibility of something as minor as a lawsuit. So here goes. What do Oprah, Mutual of Omaha, and my psychology professor in graduate school all have in common? I haven’t watched much of Oprah through the years. She’s always appeared on my television at a time of day when I am busy and inaccessible to her form of media. But I did hear recently that she’s moving on to another venture. All I know about Mutual of Omaha is that they sponsored one of the coolest and bestest television shows ever when I was a kid. Every Sunday night our family would gather around the tube to watch Marlin Perkins stalk animals for an hour on his hit show “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.” Especially entertaining was how Marlin calmly watched while his assistant Jim was nearly eaten on several occasions by boa constrictors and such. I can’t remember my psychology prof’s name but I remember that she said “Aha” quite often. Which leads me to the current issue at hand. When the light bulb flips on in someone’s head and they finally realize something, it is referred to in psychology as an “Aha moment.” My wise prof taught me this twenty years ago. Recently however, both Oprah and Mutual of Omaha were of the belief that they invented the phrase. And get this, they wanted to own it as well. Mutual used it in an ad campaign but Harpo (Oprah backwards) claimed they had exclusive rights to it. I say give the rights to my psychology professor. She was dropping the phrase long before Oprah or Mutual of Omaha. If not her, then award all the lawsuit money to the American Heart Association (AHA, for short.) At great legal risk, I have decided to share some Aha! moments in my life: 1. A brand new (and expensive) car becomes a used automobile five minutes after you drive away from the dealership parking lot. Aha! You can save some money going the used route in the first place. 2. The more you speak, the greater chance you could say something stupid, offensive, or incriminating. Aha! Sometimes it may be best to fold your tongue and staple it to itself before it lands you in a heap of trouble. 3. This giant snake I am wrestling here in the water could, in fact, kill me. Marlin sends me to do the dangerous stuff while he gets all the glory, the TV ratings, and the heftier contract. Aha! I’m getting the shaft. (Okay, that was assistant Jim, but it fits nicely.) 4. (Me again- 9 years ago) I always enjoyed English class. I couldn’t wait for writing assignments. People sometimes laughed or cried when they read my stuff. I’m 37 and I’ve kept my ramblings hidden in a blue notebook in a closet for twenty years. Aha! Maybe God wants me to “come out of the closet” and share my writing with others. For the record, I am 46 now and still wish my writing Aha! moment would have occurred sooner. But either way, I intend to keep writing. If Oprah doesn’t like it, she can sue me.