WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Father Time Won't Shut Down in the New Year

     A new year has arrived and those incorrigibles in Washington who run our government have decided to (temporarily hopefully) shut down the operation up there. Of course it's because of a dispute but I noticed they didn't shut themselves or their own monthly checks down. They just cut out other people's checks. Funny how that works.
     As part of the construction of my annual New Year's Resolution list, I have decided to offer my two cents- which is only worth 1.5 cents after the stock market performance this past December- as to how we can prevent our elected representatives from ceasing to operate in these situations. I say that for every day the government is shut down, all those involved have to have a tooth extracted at 5 pm if they didn't resolve it that day. Start with the back teeth and work forward. No pain killers allowed. We get a guy named Bubba from Alabama to use his trusty needle nose pliers to do the job. My guess is the shutdown would end quickly and we could get back to business and Bubba could get back to his rabbit and deer hunting before winter sets in too heavily.
     Part of the rest of my resolution list is the same old same old about how I won't join a terrorist organization in 2019, and how I will avoid telling Little Johnny jokes and will refrain from using the term "literally". And once again, after some partial success last year, I will try yet again not to butt dial folks with my cellphone. (With the help of a teenager, I learned how to use the lock/unlock feature on my phone. It drives me insane but does seem to reduce butt dialing incidences, though I did accidentally text a slightly inappropriate GIF to someone I hadn't spoken to in years.)
     My main resolution for 2019 involves Father Time. The poor old fella gets a bad rap if you ask me. Unless you're a teenager counting down the days until you can get your driver's license, nobody seems to like or appreciate his habit of making sure the clock keeps ticking. But if he didn't do his job, life would be like one of those old episodes of Twilight Zone where everyone is frozen in time while one poor soul walks around looking for signs of daily life. And do we really want to freeze and look like mannequins?
     Father Time accompanied me to eat at a KFC/Taco Bell recently. As I began to order, the sweet young teenager behind the counter cautiously suggested that I may be eligible for their senior discount. You can get the 10% discount if you're 55 or older, she said reluctantly. My eyes locked on to hers and for what seemed like two solid minutes, I stared a hole in her while my chin dropped down to the level of my navel. "Young lady," I began, "You're telling me that the only thing I had to do was make it to 55, and now I can save money every time I come in here for the rest of my life! This is the greatest news ever! My first ever senior discount! I just turned 55 a couple weeks ago. Here, look at my ID". (She told me that wouldn't be necessary but I insisted).
     Later, I did some online searching on my computer and discovered that Father Time had left me some other nifty discounts at lots of different places. Sounds too good to be true, especially since 55 is the new 40. But true it is, and Father Time is the one to thank for it.
     Psalm 118:24 reminds me that "This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it", which incidentally, is the same verse I shared during last year's resolutions. It reminds us to treat each day as a precious gift from the Lord. So here's the way I figure it. If I'm receiving a gift each day, I shouldn't be complaining. The more gifts I get, the more thankful I should be, not sad or irritated. If I'm blessed to wake up tomorrow, there will be another day waiting to greet me, perfectly gift wrapped and ready to be opened.
    All that being said, my resolution is to embrace Father Time in 2019. I'm glad he doesn't shut down like the U.S. government occasionally does. That way Bubba and his pliers get to stay in Alabama where they're happy, at least until my proposal to start pulling politician's teeth goes into effect.
     I don't like everything about you, Father Time. But I will say that the job you do is necessary and underappreciated. Next time I'm at KFC, you're welcomed to accompany me. Discount lunch is on me.