WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Master of Awkward

      One of my sons and I had trekked through the woods and to our favorite spot at the river expecting to enjoy peace, solitude, and privacy- the same way we always did every time we went fishing down at the river near our home. It's not exactly our property but we've been given permission to fish there. For years we had never seen another human being down there, but on this evening, as we neared our spot, we heard some human voices across the way. 
   "Dad," said the son, "If we run into someone, you handle it. You're the master of awkward". Even though we didn't end up encountering any other humans at the river that evening, the young man had a point. Over the years I have found that I handle myself well in awkward situations, mainly by trying to convince myself that they're not awkward. 

     I feel led to share a few examples:

1. While in college I ran into my old girlfriend on the steps of the library one evening. Awkward enough. But to add to it, I was with my new girlfriend at the time. I did what any young man would do. I introduced them to each other then grabbed my new girlfriend's hand and we got out of Dodge before the two of them had a chance to compare notes on me. 

  

2. I was asked to speak at an FCA Sports Banquet years ago. I dressed up in my best suit and tie like I normally do when asked to speak at banquets. Turns out it was more of a cookout in an outdoor picnic shelter and everybody was wearing shorts and T-shirts. I pulled off my jacket, looked down at my baseball tie, and made up a quick story (okay, it was a lie) about how I had wanted to wear my special sports tie to the gathering and the only way to do it was to wear the suit pants with it. I think they believed me. (I spilled mustard from the burger all over my good shirt and tie). 

3. Back a million years ago when I was a high school baseball coach, when baseballs became tattered and torn, we had a tradition of throwing them over the fence and out into the woods just beyond our field. The worst arm on the team could shave easily cleared the hidden road below that ran between the field and the woods. One day I picked up a defunct ball while the players were stretching and tossed it toward the woods, Unfortunately it slipped off the side of my hand and fell short of its intended destination. A few seconds later we heard a loud smash and the players doubled over in laughter. I ran to the road and discovered the ball I had thrown had completely shattered the windshield of one of my 11th grade History students named Dan. He had pulled over and was sitting in the driver's seat in a state of shock. I apologized all over myself and promised Dan's "B" would soon be an "A". 

4. While with a group of family and friends having a dinner at a nice restaurant one evening, our waiter turned out to be one of my former baseball players. Ironically, I had cut him from the team only a few weeks earlier due to a serious off-the-field discipline issue. I could tell he was really nervous and uncomfortable, which made me nervous and uncomfortable. Everybody ordered spaghetti, lasagna, and other Italian delicacies. I ordered water with no lemon. It was an awkward dinner. 

     Jesus was part of an awkward dinner on at least one occasion. Luke 7:36-50 tells the story of how a Pharisee named Simon invited Jesus to be his guest for dinner, but did so under false pretenses. His goal was to engage Jesus in a discussion with other intellectual elites, thus exposing him as unintelligent and misguided. Because Jesus was a guest in Simon's home and was fed a nice meal, etiquette and the rules of social exchange dictated that Jesus would be expected to show his appreciation and would most certainly not speak insults toward the Pharisees like he had been doing in the temple in previous days. 

     When a woman of ill repute entered and washed Jesus' feet with her hair, Simon was appalled and passed judgment on both Jesus and the lady for their interaction. Jesus, not one to care too much for the rules of etiquette or social exchange, told a story about forgiveness that was clearly aimed at Simon. In the end, he assured the woman that her sins were forgiven but made no such guarantee to Simon. It was awkward to say the least but then again, Jesus was the Master of Awkward. 

     I hope I don't end up in any awkward situations any time soon. Just because I tend to hold my own in those situations doesn't mean I enjoy or look forward to them. By the way, the old girlfriend who I ran into that night in the library during college is happily married to a pastor and doing just fine these days. And so is the "new" girlfriend from that night. She's the one I've been married to for nearly thirty-four years now and has stuck around despite my awkwardness . . . and the mustard on my good shirts.