WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Shoot Me Straight and Carry Me to the Truth

     A while back I was having a regular, normal, run-of-the-mill, unexceptional, average conversation with a friend. Somewhere along the way in our discussion we agreed that we needed further communication regarding a particular subject that needed further research. To be honest, I remember very little about the subject of the conversation, but his concluding words have stuck with me. Said he, "Okay, once I find the answer, I'll shoot you an email."
     Shoot me an email. Why he didn't just say "I'll send you an email," I don't know. I'm not complaining. I like it when people live out of the box. Shooting an email sounds much more exciting than merely sending an email. So I started thinking of other ways one might phrase the whole email correspondence deal and I came up with a few.
     One can not only shoot an email, one can pop someone an email or tap out an email. If you're slightly angry, you can fire off an email. You can CC an email or BCC an email, depending on your preference.
     There are others in other realms. If you would rather call someone instead of emailing them, you can buzz them, give them a shout, hit them up, ping them, or give them a holla.
     If you're escorting someone to the prom, you might say you're accompanying them to the prom, courting them to the prom, or as one of my players told me one time- "Coach, I'll have to miss practice on Saturday. I'm going back home to carry my girlfriend to the prom". (I heard it went well though I was worried he would show back up with a bad back).
     If you are getting in the shower, you can either hop in the shower, jump in the shower, or take a shower. I don't know where you would transport a shower to, but apparently you can take it with you when you're done. For example: "Hey, I'm going to take a shower." "Great, where are you and the shower going?"
     Perhaps you're going to take the shower to a movie. Then you could reply by saying you were going to take in a movie or catch a movie. Before the movie starts, instead of merely going to eat, you could say you were going to eat a bite, have a bite, or grab a bite. Ex- "I shot my girlfriend Sally an email to let her know I needed to hop in the shower before I could come over to pick her up and carry her to the mall to catch a movie and grab a bite afterward".
     No wonder English is the most difficult language to master. So much slang. Insinuations. Ambiguity. Double meanings. The word "set" has 430 definitions.
     That's why I'm drawn to John 14:6 in the Bible. When the disciple Thomas asks Jesus how to know the way, Jesus replies- "I am way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Plain and simple. No ambiguity. No double meaning. No slang. No hidden clues. Straight shooting. What's interesting about John 14:6 is that it is one of the few verses of scripture that is nearly identical in almost every translation of the Bible. Why? It's clear, simple, and forthright.
     Considered by many to be the most controversial verse in the Bible because of its implication that Jesus is the only way to eternal salvation, John 14:6 is Jesus clearly stating that indeed He is the only way. He was either a totally egomaniacal wacko, or He was who He claimed He was. Every person must decide for themselves which of those He was and is.
     That's pretty much the heart of the matter. But for now, all this slang talk has now officially wiped me out. It's time for me to crash and hit the hay.