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Wednesday, April 15, 2020

WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Pandemic Pajamas and Bad Breath

     I've heard the term "watershed moment" quite often throughout the years. Even though I know what it means, I was never sure why until I looked it up. I was aware that a watershed moment was a turning point or a defining moment- but why "watershed"? Turns out a watershed is a dividing point between two flowing bodies of water. And this watershed piece of land separates the two so they'll never be one in the same again until they flow into a larger body of water.
     So there you have it. We learn something every day. Turns out we're learning a lot lately in this watershed moment, what with all the Corona Bologna stuff going on. I have discovered a few things about being stuck at home,  about wearing masks, and  about online meetings. I shall now share a few of these nuggets:

1. People stuck at home who don't have to impress people on the outside tend not to bathe as much, especially not first thing in the morning. And I don't think they (we) wear deodorant as much. Sure our families smell us, but they have to love us anyway. Outsiders have the option of loving us or shunning us.
2. People stuck at home don't brush their teeth as much, especially not first thing after breakfast. See notes above about families having to love us whether they choose to or not. And we don't floss as much either, though we no longer have the excuse of being too busy to afford the time it takes to wiggle a little string between our teeth.
3. Men stuck at home don't shave as often and women stuck at home don't paint their nails or put on makeup as much. In fact, due to boredom, perhaps now it's the men who are painting their nails. I suspect this could be the case, though I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's not.
4. People fortunate enough to be able to perform their jobs from home only dress up when they're joining an online video meeting. And even then, many of us (oops, them) are wearing pajama bottoms and slippers on our (I mean "their") feet while the collar shirt is placed neatly on the top half. And some are only wearing underwear down there on the bottom half. Disgusting? Not really, who cares. By the way, I hosted an online meeting for one of the classes I teach recently. As the session began, we all watched one girl brush her unruly hair for three minutes before sitting down in front of her computer. She thought she was out of camera range and didn't realize we had seen her. None of us had the guts to tell her.
5. If you're one of the ones wearing a mask in public, people treat you like you have leprosy. I personally think we should all be wearing the masks in the grocery store based on the latest recommendations, but most people still don't. And the ones without masks stare at those of us with masks and avoid us. Yet they go and stand right next to another person who isn't wearing a mask. What's wrong with that picture?
6. Speaking of masks, I'm thinking about doing a lip sync video while wearing my mask. Then, if I make a mistake, no one would know. And if I have goat breath because I haven't brushed my teeth, no one would be the wiser, not even my family.
7. During stay at home pandemics, people do more yard work, eat more, stalk others on Facebook more, drink more, and binge watch Netflix more. I recommend being careful with all those, including yard work. I'm still fighting a nasty case of poison ivy. (And yes, I did watch the Tiger King series on Netflix. All I can say is . . . Really?)
8. Celebrities apparently can't stand not being in the middle of the attention market. They're all posting videos of themselves working out, cooking, eating, telling jokes, singing, social distancing, homeschooling, or sitting around on the couch. We care . . . sorta. (Note to celebrities: don't panic, you'll still be a celebrity when this is all over with). By the way, the PSAs are inspirational. Keep those coming.

     Indeed this is a watershed moment. So many things will be judged with the "before and after COVID-19" label- such as sports, education, stock markets, politics, and much more. But what about church? Will people return? The Bible says in Hebrews 10:25- "Do not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encourage one another".
     In this watershed moment for the Church, I think we will continue meeting together well after the virus has moved on to another planet. Humans are attending online church services by the gazillions. Small group online Bible studies have skyrocketed. Text groups are sharing verses and devotions daily. Prayer chains are clogging up email servers. People are delivering groceries to their neighbors. Once the green light has been given to return to the church building, people will come. Yes, I'm an optimist. Maybe my underarms are stanky, my breath reeks, and I wear camo pajamas and fuzzy slippers to work. Who cares. God is in control and His people are rallying like never before. And you can't hide that behind any mask.




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