WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Possum Queens and Poison Ivy

Me: Well, here we ago again with yet another crisis, this whole Corona Bologna thing.

My Famous Dog Flash: Okay, you overused the whole "Corona Bologna" rhyme last week in your little wacky devotion. People didn't think it was funny then, and they don't think it's funny now.

Me: Ouch.

Flash: And why do you call this a crisis? Sure, it's serious, but look at the positives. People are spending more time with family and doing things they never had the time to do before, like have meaningful conversations with their intelligent canine companions.

Me: Maybe, but last Saturday when I finally found time to start clearing out all those downed trees in our woods because of the flooding a few weeks back, I got poison ivy all over my arms.

Flash: That's because you're a moron. Wear short sleeves next time. The bright side of it was that while you were playing in the trees, I was down by the creek, cornering my first possum ever, even though y'all made me leave before I could pull it out of the hole where it was hiding.

Me: I know, and we were proud of you- that's why your mom put together a little Possum Queen celebration for you the next day. But that doesn't change the fact that our lives have been totally disrupted by this Corona Bologna outbreak. And people are panicked, anxious, and scared.

Flash: Stop calling it Corona Bologna or I'll drag a dead squirrel into your bedroom. Besides, I thought you're all the time preaching about how nothing is bigger than God, not even Corona Bologna. . . Dadgumit, now you got me saying it.

Me: You're right. It is bigger than me, but it's not bigger than God. That's why I decided last week to share my weekly message/sermon on Facebook Live on Sunday morning at 9 a.m., to let people know there's hope in every situation. And I intend to share another message again this week.

Flash: Now you're just advertising. Why do you feel the need to the be one to share your messages? Aren't there plenty other preachers and teachers posting videos and podcasts all over the internet?

Me: I'm just trying to do my part. What if everybody sat around doing nothing, thinking somebody else should be doing it. I'm not special, I'm just trying to use the talent God gave me for His glory. Kinda like in Matthew 25 when Jesus talks about how the two servants used their talents for the Lord but the one servant buried his and hid it away from the world. He made an unwise choice.

Flash: You call that speaking thing of yours a talent? You sound worse than a rabid raccoon when you open your mouth. I've heard better speakers than you in a convent.

Me: But they're not allowed to speak in convents.

Flash: Exactly.

Me. Watch it, Miss Smarty Pants Possum Queen, or I'll strip you of your title and take your silly little crown and toss it in the trash next to the empty bottles of hand sanitizer.

Flash: Yeah, well at least I don't scratch myself near as much as you do, 'cause I was smart enough to stay out of the poison ivy.

Me: Maybe, but you still drink from the toilet.

Flash: Ouch.