Family Dog "Relieved" to Have Incident Behind Her

“I don’t have to go looking for stuff to write about,” I told my neighbors one recent afternoon while standing in my driveway. “All I have to do is keep my eyes open.” Having just witnessed what happened a few moments earlier, they laughed and agreed. It all started with a phone call from my ten-year-old son. “Dad,” he calmly said, “Mom wants you to come home as soon as possible because Flash (our dog) has a fish hook stuck in his nose.” Upon arriving home, I noticed the dog was in good spirits, but she indeed did have a large fish hook stuck through one of her nostrils. The tip of the hook was visible on the outside of her nose, thus letting me know the thing was stuck good (or bad depending on your perspective). When I tell you that we decided to take some pictures of Flash, please understand that my family meant no disrespect or harm to the creature and that she was not in pain at the time. I texted a few pics to my oldest two sons who were out of town and some other folks who I thought would be interested. But the scene became less than humorous when my neighbor and I attempted surgery to remove the offensive hook. Let me next say that we have no idea how the fish hook worked its way into the dog’s snout, though my neighbor’s wife did discover a fishing bobber in the yard that looked like it had been chewed up by dog teeth. My wife’s job was to help my neighbor and I contain the poor canine while I performed surgery with wire cutters and needle nose pliers. My neighbor tried to cover Flash’s eyes with a bandana but this proved unsuccessful. At one point during the operation, a subdued Flash did what any red-blooded American dog would do. She relieved herself. At first it was number one. But it soon evolved into number two. And we were too far into the surgery to bail out due to the smell. We forged onward despite my neighbors’ wife and my youngest son bailing out and relocating to parts unknown. I’ll spare you further details of the “relieving” incident but I will tell you there was clear evidence to indicate that Flash had recently eaten a screw. Anyway, I was able to slice the hook into two pieces but I wasn’t able to push it all the way out. Of course we knew better than to try to pull it out, knowing that the hook’s barb would do even more damage on the way out. Eventually my neighbor, who had an angle better than me, pushed the hook the rest of the way out of the poor dog’s nose via the pliers. Hooray! After thirty seconds of subdued pouting, Flash jumped up and ran into the neighbor’s yard to play with her doggy friend. I gained a whole new respect for Flash that day. She’s tougher than I thought. And in her defense, I think under the circumstances I probably would have soiled the driveway, too. Of course, I am appreciative to Flash for providing material for yet another semi-entertaining column. And I will continue to keep my eyes open and my driveway hosed off.