WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: No Offense Meant in the Grocery Store

     I mean no offense when I say there are some things women do better than men. Immediately there are likely some among you whose radar has perked up. Males may say- "Here he goes with the male bashing". Females may be thinking- "He better not say women are good at the nurturing and raising of children and the guys are better at being the breadwinners." Relax, I will say nothing of the sort. I can think what I wish but I know better than to say stuff out loud anymore. That's because on every street corner, chat room, and kitchen stool, there is always someone who is looking for a reason to be offended.

     It's the age we live in. The whole politically correct thing. Before you judge me to be insensitive, I will say that I am against intolerance and discrimination. I agree there are wrongs that need to be righted, attitudes that need to be adjusted, and narrow minded views that need to become extinct. But it's also possible that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction in some cases these days. 

     I think I would probably be miserable if my primary objective each day was to be on constant lookout for reasons to be offended. I'm sure I could find plenty of reasons to be offended if I looked hard enough, but I think that would take too much of my energy and would distract me from appreciating all the other things a day might offer me. 

     For example, I can state unequivocally from firsthand knowledge that women know their way around a grocery store better than men. Sorry fellow men, it's true, so don't be offended. And most of the females I've encountered in the grocery store are aware of that fact. 

     Several months back, I remember being on the spice aisle at the grocery store and having a terrible time trying to find what it was I needed. I narrowed my choices down to a couple possibilities but couldn't pull the trigger. At that moment a nice lady came walking by and without thinking, I uttered perhaps the most offensive phrase that's ever come out of my mouth- "Hey, you're a female, can you help me out?" I certainly didn't mean it the way it sounded. With terror filled eyes, I stared at this stranger next to me and braced for her reaction. 

     After a second or two that seemed like the length of a visit to the dentist, my new friend broke out in laughter- not just a giggle, but full fledged laughter. No offense intended, none taken. Once she got a hold of herself, she jumped in head first and my problem was solved in thirty seconds or less. My stereotype was justified, she knew what she was doing. I, of course, did not. 

     Recently I was in that same grocery store at the checkout line, minding my own business. The female cashier checked me out. (I wasn't offended by her checking me out, because in reality she was merely ringing up the cost of the items, not "checking me out") The male bagger put my items into the proper plastic bags and handed them over to me. At one point, I nearly dropped the bag containing the fragile eggs. Said the bagger- "Hey, you better not drop those, she would kill you."

     At that point, there were various sorts of ways I could have been offended by his "insensitivity". Several responses were available to me. I will list a few.

1. Sir, I am offended that you would just naturally assume I am married. 

2. Sir, maybe I am married, but why would you assume it's a she? 

3. Sir, if I was married, and if it was to a she, why would you assume she was capable of violence?

4. Sir, if I was married, and if it was to a she, why would you think I would cower in front of her and let her abase and degrade me for dropping and cracking the eggs. Are you saying I'm a wimp? 

5. Sir, I am offended that you assume I couldn't afford to go grab another carton of eggs and pay for them. Are you insinuating that I'm poor? 

(I could go on and on but I won't, which I know you appreciate).

     In Matthew 15, Jesus has an encounter with the religious leaders of the day- the Pharisees- where he basically calls them hypocrites. When his disciples inform him that the Pharisees were offended by his remarks, Jesus is unapologetic. In fact, in Matthew 15:14, he goes on to call them blind guides and warns the disciples to stay away from them. Sometimes you gotta call it what it is, regardless of who is offended. 

     Of all the responses available to me when the bagger warned me about dropping the eggs, this is the one I chose- "Thanks my man, you're totally right." How could I be offended when he was just trying to be friendly and engage in some male bonding? How could I be offended when he was right on all counts- other than the part about my wife actually killing me, which I think was possible, but not probable. No offense to my wife.