The curse and blessing of technology

Technology has been driving me up a wall lately. I started counting up the things that were causing me stress recently, and the vast majority of my anxiety involved breakdowns of devices invented to supposedly make my life easier. There's a computer module thing-a-ma-jig that hides out of sight somewhere near the dashboard of my son's truck. Apparently it controls a lot of stuff I never knew about because when it decided to become unruly, various sorts of craziness ensued. The horn didn't work, the oil light stuck in the on position, and both headlights went out despite being supplied with perfectly good bulbs. The new cell phone I got in December when my old one conked out has begun misbehaving. It- not me- decides when, where, and if it wants to turn on and off. And I've made at least ten "pocket calls"- you know, the kind where your phone calls somebody when you didn't intend to. I'm quite certain it has a mind of its own. But the biggest pain in my technological life has been that wretched laptop of mine. I can't begin to explain to you the complicated tenuous love/hate relationship that dominates our mutual existence. I appreciate the fact my laptop partners with me in the production of these columns each week. I have three completed books and portions of two others stored on my laptop. And she keeps me connected to the world through the web. But I've got to admit, the laptop is a constant source of disdain for me. She won't turn on and off correctly. She freezes all the time. She taunts me by flashing error messages virtually every time I try to do anything. And recently, she decided she would no longer connect to the internet. My wife swore off the laptop weeks ago. I kept telling her that instead of hollering at it, she should just get up, walk away, and go upstairs to the PC in the bonus room. My wife took my advice and has been a better person ever since. When the strain of our relationship reached its peak, I made a drastic decision. As a result, we (my laptop and me) are currently going through a separation. We tried going to a computer specialist for therapy burt he said he needed to keep her for 10 days or so. I told him to take his time. We need our space. Not to be deterred, I produced this column on the upstairs PC. But technology would make a dramatic comeback on the day the baseball team I coach played its first home game in the new stadium. As the sun began to set, the brand new stadium lights gradually brightened and illuminated the field. And they came on automatically because I had called a guy in Iowa the day before and told him to set the lights to come on. He tapped a key on his computer and Poof! Let there be light. It was a beautiful sight to behold. As frustrated as I was with all my techno gadgets, those lights made me appreciate living in the advanced age we enjoy. I felt like stopping the game and calling the folks in Iowa to thank them for flipping the switch. And maybe I would have, but my cellphone wasn't working.