Parking dilemmas

I've never been good at parking, parallel or otherwise. When choosing the DMV where I would get my license when I was 16, I was careful to avoid a location anywhere near a parallel parking situation. Thus I remained unprepared and intimidated by the whole parking gig. The town where I live, Boiling Springs, is inundated with parallel parking spots near the one stoplight in the center of town. I avoid those spots like the plague. The few times I tried to parallel park in one of those spots in the past led to personal embarrassment and public humiliation. On more that one occasion I gave it a try, but eventually gave up, pulled out, and moved on while the waiting traffic and pedestrians observed. "Check out the moron who stopped traffic for five minutes for nothing," I think I heard them say. I tell you all this to set up the recent scene which occurred at the local Dollar General. There are no parallel parking spots there but the spaces are nonetheless cramped and challenging to negotiate. As I pulled into the parking lot that fateful afternoon, I noticed one available spot on the back row nearest to the road. I also observed two young men sitting on the tailgate of a truck directly across from the parking spot. Surmising that it would be extremely difficult to back out of the spot when I returned from inside, I made a courageous decision. I took a deep breath, mentally crossed my fingers, and decided to back into the spot with the goal of facing outward so I could easily pull out later. I could feel the eyes of the young men bearing down on me as I pulled forward, came to a stop, then turned the wheel hard to the right as I slowly began backing. "Don't panic," I told myself. "Use your mirrors and your common sense. Bad idea, forget your common sense. Just use your mirrors and whip it in there." With every bit of humility and modesty I can muster, I must say that I absolutely nailed it. On the first try. When I got out of my truck, my eyes witnessed a masterpiece of epic proportions. My truck rested precisely in the center of the parking spot, proudly facing outward for the world to see. The front end of my truck was smiling broadly at me in amazement and appreciation. So impressive was my feat that one of the young men on back of the truck commented, "Great parking job, Dude." I have played on state championship baseball teams and coached a world series team. I have received member of the year awards at two colleges where I've worked. And ten years ago I won first place in a womanless beauty pageant. Yet I can say that at that moment, when an impressed teenager paid homage to me for a parking job well done, I beamed with indescribable pride. "You are an absolute stud," I said to myself as I tipped my cap to the bewildered teens. And I strutted as if I had been doing it all my life. Franklin Roosevelt once said, "All we have to fear is fear itself." From this day forward, I will no longer fear parking spot dilemmas. (Unless they are of the parallel sort.)