WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

     My famous dog Flash is a girl. She is surrounded by a neighborhood full of boy suitors. They roam in and out of our yard in search of romance. Flash is not interested. She prefers to keep her distance. We have trained her well. "Watch out," we tell her, "They're up to no good". We have witnessed some of the neighbor dogs prowling and circling our yard in search of love and we don't trust them. And we certainly don't approve of Flash hanging around them. Oh, and by the way, Flash is fixed. For those who don't know what that is, it means she will not be giving birth anytime soon, or ever. And apparently, she doesn't have any interest in the whole deal after getting fixed. Which is a good thing in our opinion.
     Not that I'm against love, romance, and puppies. But just not for Flash. She's fine being single and unavailable. Plus, I don't think we could handle the moment we suddenly discovered we were destined to be doggy grandparents. Which makes me wonder: Do expectant dog mommies have morning sickness, crave sardines and ice cream, or break into tears for no reason while watching Animal Planet reruns?
     I guess the toughest part for us, her owners, would be the part where we were surprised to discover that she was carrying around developing offspring within her body. I was going to use the term "knocked up" but I find it to be inappropriately suggestive and insensitive to all parties involved.
Which reminds me of something I heard in a salon where I was getting my hair cut a while back.
     Okay, first of all, I usually get my hair cut in a barber shop. But on this particular day, I risked the removal of my "man card" by venturing into a place where females clip and style hair, normally the hair of other females.
     I was the only male in the place at the time. But did this inhibit the conversation among the female cutters and cuttees? Absolutely not. My cutter made some small talk for a minute or two but it didn't take long for us to catch wind of the conversation going on next to us. So we did what any other normal human beings would do . . . we eavesdropped.
    The lady telling the story didn't mind. She was aware everyone there was listening as she casually explained how her daughter had recently delivered a baby . . . without knowing she was pregnant. As Gomer Pyle used to say- "Surprise, surprise, surprise."
     Said Grandma: "I kept asking her at the hospital how she could have been pregnant all those months and not know it. She said she thought all the pains and kicks were just a bad case of gas." This was nearly too much for me at that point. With as much restraint as the USA and the Soviet Union had to muster when both were staring at the Nuclear Missile Launch buttons, I managed to suppress a laughter explosion. Which made my stomach hurt as much as if I had gas myself. Which was painful, but at least I wasn't pregnant.
     Grandma finished her story and casually moved on to the next topic of discussion but I couldn't stop thinking about the unexpected birth. It seemed to me I had heard a similar story on the evening news in the past- the whole deal where the lady gives birth without knowing she was pregnant. How in the world could that be? Well, indeed it be.
     At this writing, it is not Christmas time, but I can't help but think about Jesus' mother Mary. When she tried to explain that she was unexpectedly pregnant but hadn't engaged in an essential aspect of the process, people were likely asking how that could be. Her fiance wondered the same thing until an angel assured him that all was going according to God's plan. Luke 1:37 provides one of the strongest statements in history when the angel tells Mary- "Nothing is impossible with God."
     God's love defies all logic, God's power transcends all science, and God's grace challenges all measure of human understanding. In short, we can't comprehend just how powerful and almighty God is. He's simply too big for us to place neatly in a box.
     I have to remind myself quite often that nothing is impossible with God. He can soften hardened hearts, He can reunite a divided nation, and He can use a newborn to change the world. Nothing is impossible for God, though I'm hoping a fixed Flash doesn't give birth to any miracle newborns in the Stroupe house anytime soon.

   
   

WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: Blessings from Above

     I accidentally burnt some popcorn recently. Not wanting it to go to waste, I tossed if off the back porch deck, allowing it to settle in the grass below. My thinking was simple: the birds will appreciate the gesture. Don't worry, it wasn't one of the microwave brands, which are bad for little birdies (and for humans as well I'm told). It was the unsalted, untreated natural sort. The issue with me tossing it in the yard was that it was nighttime and the temperature was in the low 20s. Birds have long since flown south, I supposed. I supposed wrong. The next day, the yard was filled with the little dudes. The popcorn was long gone by the time I saw them pecking around in the yard later that afternoon. Apparently when they fly south, a substantial number of birds are content to stop, rest, and nest in North Carolina. (We certainly qualify as Southern, you know).
     I've heard tale of something called "bird blessings". Apparently it's a thing. Humans encounter birds in various situations and interpret the ensuing interaction as some sort of omen or sign. Example: If a pregnant woman hears an owl hoot, it is an indication that she will have an easy labor. I'm not a woman and I've never been pregnant, but based on all the conversations among females I've eavesdropped on, there's no such thing as an easy labor. But I digress.
     I hear quite often of birds landing in windowsills and looking in on a human washing the dishes. Once hands have been dried off, the dishwasher then picks up a cellphone and texts or calls a friend to let them know about having been the recipient of a bird blessing. "He just flew right up next to the window a few inches from me and stared at me for a solid thirty seconds. I know it was from God. I've had a rough time lately. I really needed that bird blessing today". I'm not sure exactly how or why a hungry bird in a windowsill is so significant, but who am I to question how a person believes God speaks to them. If the bird could talk and provide financial or parenting advice, then I'd be a little more convinced.
     The closest I've ever come to receiving a bird blessing was several years ago, long enough ago that I was carrying an infant Stroupe child as I was in the process of transporting myself and said child from the parking lot to the side door entrance of the church. I was rushing inside to make in time for the start of Sunday School, which is nearly impossible when you're the father of young children. Anyway, I was about thirty feet from the door when I felt a sensation similar to the one I felt when a friend cracked an uncooked egg on my head as a youngster. (Different story for a different time- Okay, I'll share it now. We used to sneak up behind each other, crack an egg on an unsuspecting friend's head, and shout, "The yoke's on you!" This was silly, immature, and highly entertaining).
     Turns out my bird blessing was not an egg but rather a well placed airstrike bomb, compliments of a squadron of pigeons overhead. My hands being full with diaper bags and infant body mass, I had no choice but to proceed inside, praying that it wasn't so bad. The hallway was filled to the max with worshipers that day as I politely smiled, nodded, and scurried as quickly as possible to the bathroom. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed my worst fears. The ooze that was slowly creeping its way down my forehead was a mixture of toxic waste green and a shade of purple I had never seen before. My bird blessing was a simple one: humility.
     Perhaps the greatest bird blessing of all would better be described as a bird lesson instead. It involves a phenomenon known as a murmuration. It's when a huge flock of birds, specifically starlings, all move in unison- swooping, dancing, soaring, and changing direction instantaneously as if being directed by some cosmic choreographer. And they never crash, collide, or bump into one another. It's one of the most incredible events one can observe in nature. If you haven't seen one, google it and watch a murmuration online.
     Scientists have discovered some interesting facts about murmurations. Apparently the birds perform a murmuration when threatened by a predator or other outside danger. And it seems to work. How scientists can tell I don't know, but they also say there is no leader among the birds. Each individual bird obviously can't see the entire flock so they only influence or are influenced by the actions of their seven closest neighbor birds. Yet when there is a movement, they react so quickly that the ripple effects seems to occur in unison, despite there being hundreds of them.
     1 Corinthians 1:10 reminds us Christians to be in agreement and to live in unity with one another- eliminating divisions among ourselves, remaining united in mind and thought. When we rebel or insist on going our own way, we disrupt the unity of the entire body of believers. Maybe only those closest to us notice, but the disruption has ripple effects. Though our cosmic choreographer is unseen to the physical eye, He is most certainly there, guiding us in a magnificent dance of life. And His goal is that we dance and soar together as one, within the rays of light He beams down upon us.
     My skepticism of bird blessings has waned and I am now a believer. The murmurations clinched it for me. I just hope the next time I am the recipient of a bird blessing, it will be from a flock of starlings, not a formation of pigeons.