WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: I'm Probably Not Who You Think I Am

     Because what I'm about to share with you has happened to me not once, not twice, but thrice in the past few months, I believe it can be considered more than mere coincidence. Twice while grocery shopping at Food Lion and once at the Ingles grocery store. There must be something with me and grocery stores because a lot of stuff seems to happen to me there. 

     Mind you, my main concern when I enter a grocery store is to be about locating the items on my list, minding my own business, and swiping my credit card while exchanging a few pleasantries with the check out person. 

     But that's not the way it's been transpiring lately. First, it was a young couple who looked to be a boyfriend/girlfriend arrangement who were searching for spaghetti sauce. Then it was a gentleman who was curious about the price of a particular package of meat. After that, it was a lady who was frantic after the original turkey she bought at the grocery store turned green by the time she got it home and she needed to exchange it for a "less spoiled" one immediately. 

     On the first two occasions, I had dropped by the grocery store after church and was wearing dress pants with a nice shirt and tie. While picking through the brands of loaves of bread in an attempt to determine which were the most healthy, I heard a male voice next to me ask- "Sir, can you tell me where we might find the pasta sauce?" I quickly realized the voice of the young man with the young lady nestled close to his shoulder was speaking to me. Not wanting to appear startled by the inquiry, I tried to answer as best I could by directing them to a row on the other side of the store. "I'm not sure but I think it's that direction" I said politely as I pointed. They looked at me a little strangely, thanked me, and off they went. 

     On a subsequent trip to the grocery store, a similar event occurred. Again I was picking up some items on my way home after church. This time I was thumbing through the Reduced For Quick Sale packages of meat whose expiration dates were nearing. "Sir," asked a male voice near me, "Do you know if this package is one of the ones on sale?" Neighborly as always, I informed the gentleman that I wasn't sure but would take a look at the package for him. Looking it over, I decided it probably wasn't on sale. "I don't think so, but you should probably ask somebody else to make sure," I said. 

     The man stared at me intently and we locked eyes for an awkward moment before he, slightly red-faced with embarrassment exclaimed, "Oh, I'm sorry, you don't work here, do you?"

     Suddenly it all made sense. I had been coming into the grocery store on Sundays wearing my shirt and tie. And when I stopped to take a look at items I was considering to purchase, folks mistook me for one of the managers. No wonder those two teenagers had looked at me strangely when I pretty much blew them off by pointing vaguely at an aisle on the other side of the store. Now I was the one embarrassed. 

     With that in mind, I'll admit I had no inkling that the third encounter within a few weeks would occur in the frozen turkey section of another Food Lion grocery store. I had been sent on an errand to retrieve a frozen turkey and because the weather was unseasonably warm, I was wearing a short sleeve black pullover and my favorite pair of camo shorts. 

     While picking through the assortment of available birds, a middle-aged lady appeared beside me and began to complain about the turkey she had purchased the previous day. She even showed me pictures of it and indeed it was truly green. I contorted my face in various sorts of anguished poses in order to convince her I was sympathetic to the disgust she felt having purchased such an utterly pathetic gobbler. 

     "What should I do?" she asked. I told her I thought she should take her pictures up to the front and show the manager, and surely by doing so he would let her pick out another turkey. Her mouth dropped to the floor. She shrieked in horror- "You mean you don't work here!?" (Silly me, I would have thought the zip up black polyester pullover and the camo cargo shorts would have given me away, but apparently not). 

     People don't always recognize us for who we are and often times mistake us for somebody else. Jesus had the same issue in the Bible. In 1 John 4:14, the disciple John tells us that "We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world". Jesus Christ was the Savior of the world yet most of the people of that day mistook Him for something else. They were expecting him to come as a great warrior or a military or political leader who would kick the Romans out of Jerusalem and restore the Jewish nation of Israel. He didn't wear what they expected him to wear. He didn't act the way they expected Him to act. He didn't say what they expected Him to say. Yet He was indeed the promised Savior and most people failed to recognize Him as such. 

     I pray that each of us would recognize our Savior for who He is and not try to shape Him into the image we want Him to be. He is who He is and that should be enough. And I am content with who I am in Christ. But if I ever take a notion to change who I am and give another profession a shot, I'd be proud to be a grocery store manager. As long as they would let me wear my camo shorts. 

WACKY WEDNESDAY WISDOM: The Rocky Horror Picture Show and My Personal Time Warp

      It all started the first semester of my freshman year in college at Appalachian State University. One of my first weekends on campus my new buddies convinced me to venture to the midnight show at the "$2" theatre near the Red Onion Cafe in Boone, NC. I had never seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show before and was skeptical when they told me it wasn't really scary but was a lot of fun to attend because members of the audience provided most of the entertainment. 

     By the time the monster-sized red lips on the screen finished singing the opening title song, I was hooked. Everybody there that night seemed to know what was going on except me but I enjoyed observing and listening to the audience participation. For the next several months, you could find me at the Friday midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the $2 theatre next to the Red Onion Cafe in Boone. 

     Before long I knew all the moves. I sprinted down to the front near the screen to dance the "Time Warp" at the appropriate moment. (It's just a jump to the left, and a step to the right, etc.) I brought a water pistol to spray my fellow movie-goers when it rained on the screen as part of the movie- along with a newspaper to put over my head as a makeshift hat to protect my head from the water pistol squirts of others. I, along with some friends, made my way to the front to help "spin the globe" when a giant earth globe on the big screen was spinning as part of the movie. I yelled fill-in words when the actors paused between lines. The more we went, the more crazy stuff we came up with to become part of the performance during the movie. 

     It's hard to believe now that an accomplished actress like Susan Sarandon would be in such a ridiculous movie. There was very little plot and the movie itself was confusingly unimpressive. I'll admit most of the stuff the audience yelled back at the screen was tasteless and not rated G. Sorry fans, but the Rocky Horror Picture Show had very little if any redeeming value. 

     Which is probably one reason some of our other college friends were curious as to why we kept going to see it. To us they would ask- "Why do you go to see the same thing over and over?" And we replied by informing them that every time we saw the show, we picked up something else new. The more we went, the more we knew how to react during the movie. Every time we were exposed to it, it seemed fresh and exciting. The more we accessed it, the more familiar it became and the more we gleaned from it. In other words, the deeper we dove into it, the more we wanted of it.  

     I can't help but think now that I wish I would have had the same attitude then about the Bible lying on the corner of my dorm room desk all those Friday nights in the fall of 1982. It was only later I discovered how accessing the Word of God could also lead a person to want to return to it repeatedly, even after reading some of the same passages over and over. 

     I would live to discover that the more I accessed it, the more the Bible seemed fresh and alive in my life. The more familiar I became with it, the more I gleaned from its pages. The more I dove into it, the more I wanted of it. 

     Hebrews 4:12 says "the Word of God is alive and active" and 2 Timothy 3:16 reminds us that "all scripture is God-breathed", which means He speaks to us over and over again through His Word. No matter how often we read it, the Bible will speak to us in new and exciting ways if we allow it to. And unlike the Rocky Horror Picture Show, its redeeming value is timeless and eternal. 

     I don't think about the Rocky Horror Picture Show much these days. I've got better things to occupy my mind and time now. And even if I wanted to venture back into the theatre to give the "Time Warp" dance another go, I don't think I'd make it- nowadays I'm fast asleep well before midnight.