Unsung Heroes Dominate Awards Yet Again

As 2009 draws to a close, it’s time once again to reflect back on good deeds, kind people, and the heroes among us. This year I’m calling it my “Thumbs Up for People Who Deserve a Slap on the Back, Not on the Face- Award.” Or whatever. Anyway, I used to give “Wedgie Awards” for those who deserve wedgies more than praise, but I cut that one out because I like to keep things positive. But rest assured Balloon boy’s parents and the White House party crashers won’t be forcing my thumbs to protrude northward. Actually, I was partially impressed with the White House party crashers until I discovered they snuck in as a publicity stunt to try and get their own reality television show. Ditto for Balloon boy’s family. And while I’m at it, what do Ann Arbor (MI), Sherwood (AK), Novato (CA), Maumeo (OH), Charlotte (NC), Columbus (GA), and Staten Island (NY) all have in common? Give up? They all had someone in their towns who stole one of the Salvation Army’s donation buckets during the Christmas season this year. It’s not the city’s fault- (there’s a rumor one was stolen locally)- but it does remind us there are Scrooges everywhere. Here’s a tidbit: the robber of a Wal-Mart store in Nacogdoches, Texas actually dropped a dollar bill into the Salvation Army bucket as he ran to his getaway car. Not enough for a thumbs up award but interesting. Let’s get to the winners. You’ve heard all about Captain Phillips and Captain Sullenberger. The former bravely offered himself as ransom to save his shipmates from terrorists and the latter safely landed a giant airplane in the Hudson River. Kudos. But you’ve probably never heard of Barbara Batton of Red Springs, N.C. I met her on a mission trip this fall. She cooks, cleans, does the laundry, and cares for the family she loves like no Mom I’ve ever seen. She adores her husband and reads to her two adopted kids whom she saved from an abusive situation. She prays and prays and prays. She loves life and her Lord and is one of the most inspirational people I’ve ever met. Also, she’s been blind for over 40 years. Unfortunately for the world, my beloved fifth grade teacher passed away in 2009. I’ll admit I was the teacher’s pet in Mrs. Anderson’s class. She loved us all but made me feel extremely special. And like some of my other teachers, she reminded me often that I was a gifted writer even though all I could think about was sports. And she talked about God in class. I like that. The Thumbs Up first place winner this year is also a teacher, but not in the traditional sense. She’s a 10-year-old girl who is battling cancer. Carey Heavner has become my buddy in the past few months. We text each other often and I’m always amazed at her positive attitude. She has taught me to live each day with appreciation and determination. I can’t wait to see what she becomes when she grows up. And I bet she’s wondering what I’ll become if I ever grow up. So there you have it. My thumbs need rest now. But they’ll be on the lookout for more heroes in 2010.

Questions abound this Christmas

Each Christmas season seems to have a unique theme of some sort. Some years it’s a blockbuster Christmas movie in the theatres. Other years it’s a hot gift item like Playstation 3, Tickle Me Elmo, or a Cabbage Patch Doll. This year’s Christmas theme, in my opinion, is a question mark- representative of the trend toward numerous unanswered questions as we approach December 25. For example, the question wafting through the Stroupe household this season is whether or not our Christmas tree will fall over yet again this year? A legitimate concern, despite the fact we became so frustrated trying to get it to stand upright that we poured grout in the bottom of the tree stand and let it harden. No guarantees but if it tips over this year, it will be because some elf knocked it over on purpose. The tree stand is ruined but it’s worth it if the star on top stays off the floor. Another question, this one floating around on the internet: Are Chia Pets edible? I saw a commercial the other day advertising a Chia Pet a cat can eat. Just what I always wanted. The debate on the internet concerns whether or not humans could benefit from Chia Pet consumption. There are mixed reviews but I’m playing it safe and abstaining. Will Tiger have enough money left to buys presents for all the “friends” (at least 12) in his life after his sponsors drop him? Okay, that was a cheap shot but the greater question is whether he will ever recover and make a triumphant return to golf. Was the image of Jesus on the bottom of a Massachusetts woman’s iron a legitimate miracle? I’ve seen the picture and it looks like a man with long hair and a beard but I have no idea if it’s Jesus. It’s kinda like the Shroud of Turin to me. If it’s real, great. If not, that’s fine, too. Why? (Another question)- Because faith doesn’t require proof. The issues of miracle authenticity may be scientifically relevant but they’re spiritually unimportant. Jesus himself once said that those who believe without seeing are blessed. It’s nice when we are privileged to experience tangible revelations but they are not necessary to sustain a faith that is based on the rock solid belief that God sent His one and only Son to save us. And to me, that is the ultimate question of this and every Christmas season: whether or not we allow the Child to leave the manger and live in our hearts. For the Stroupes this year, there is another question. Will our friends and family still love us when they don’t get a Christmas card from us this year? Humbuggishly, we didn’t send them out this season. Blame it on extreme busy-ness, lack of cooperation from our boys for the family picture, or whatever else you wish. So by the authority rendered unto me by the rest of my family, in place of a Christmas card, I am offering this simple phrase- to kids from 1 to 96. (I want to include my grandmother). It’s been said many times, many ways but from the heart I say, “Merry Christmas” to all of you. No question about it.

You can say Butt in public these days

There were certain words that were frowned upon in our house growing up. I previously wrote a column dedicated to the words we were allowed to use as replacements for less acceptable expressions of frustration. Terms like “Ah, foot”, “For Pete’s sake,” and “Dad-gum-it,” to name a few. Some words weren’t necessarily “wash your mouth out with soap” words, but could- if they slipped out- cause you to get stared down by a parent. In our home today, we call these “cold” bad words. An utterance like “stupid” qualifies as an example. The word “butt” was a cold bad word in our house growing up. As my brother and I grew up, it’s lack of social acceptance faded- partially because we were older but mainly because society in general forced it into the cultural mainstream vocabulary. I have grown accustomed to the use of this term nowadays. People openly brag about their favorite sports teams kicking butt. And of course there is the butt of a gun or a cigarette and the always unfortunate butt of a joke. But even Forrest Gump in his movie a few years back had the decency to refer to it as his “buttocks” as in- “ I got shot in the buttocks.” The way he pronounced it made it sound more like Botox. These days folks openly say it without reservation. Someone announced in church recently- “We’re selling butts to try and raise money.” And I saw a sign somewhere that read, “Get your butts here,” and another that simply stated, “Butts for sale.” And I heard one mother tell another recently- “I’m thinking about cooking a butt tonight.” Of course we’re talking about Boston Butts here. I looked them up on the internet and learned that a Boston Butt actually comes from the front shoulder of a pig. Go figure. And the only place around where they don’t call it Boston Butt is- you guessed it- Boston. The reason it’s called Boston Butt is because they were originally shipped from Boston and the containers they were shipped in were called “butts.” And I think the reason Bostonians don’t call it by that name is because they reserve all butt references for the New York Yankees. So why not call it the much more socially acceptable “Rump roast?” Because it’s not the same thing. It’s usually a cow, and Rump roast truly does come from the backside of the animal. Comforting. Hardly anybody sells Rump roast as a fundraiser. But they’ll cook up Boston Butt and sell it in a heartbeat. I think it’s a sign of the times. We couldn’t even say “Butts” thirty years ago- now they’re shouting it in the streets and selling it to us in neatly packaged bundles. Not that I’m complaining. A good Boston Butt is one of the most mouth-watering items that can travel down your esophagus. And the fund raiser people who sell Butts all seem to be associated with good causes. So it’s a win-win these days- except for the poor pig- who wishes Rump roast would become the top choice for fund raisers. And he won’t like it when I tell you to get out there and support a good cause by buying yourself a butt today.

Everyone Should be Entitled to Their Aha! Moments

I could get sued for writing this column. But I feel it would be irresponsible of me to shy away simply due to the possibility of something as minor as a lawsuit. So here goes. What do Oprah, Mutual of Omaha, and my psychology professor in graduate school all have in common? I haven’t watched much of Oprah through the years. She’s always appeared on my television at a time of day when I am busy and inaccessible to her form of media. But I did hear recently that she’s moving on to another venture. All I know about Mutual of Omaha is that they sponsored one of the coolest and bestest television shows ever when I was a kid. Every Sunday night our family would gather around the tube to watch Marlin Perkins stalk animals for an hour on his hit show “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.” Especially entertaining was how Marlin calmly watched while his assistant Jim was nearly eaten on several occasions by boa constrictors and such. I can’t remember my psychology prof’s name but I remember that she said “Aha” quite often. Which leads me to the current issue at hand. When the light bulb flips on in someone’s head and they finally realize something, it is referred to in psychology as an “Aha moment.” My wise prof taught me this twenty years ago. Recently however, both Oprah and Mutual of Omaha were of the belief that they invented the phrase. And get this, they wanted to own it as well. Mutual used it in an ad campaign but Harpo (Oprah backwards) claimed they had exclusive rights to it. I say give the rights to my psychology professor. She was dropping the phrase long before Oprah or Mutual of Omaha. If not her, then award all the lawsuit money to the American Heart Association (AHA, for short.) At great legal risk, I have decided to share some Aha! moments in my life: 1. A brand new (and expensive) car becomes a used automobile five minutes after you drive away from the dealership parking lot. Aha! You can save some money going the used route in the first place. 2. The more you speak, the greater chance you could say something stupid, offensive, or incriminating. Aha! Sometimes it may be best to fold your tongue and staple it to itself before it lands you in a heap of trouble. 3. This giant snake I am wrestling here in the water could, in fact, kill me. Marlin sends me to do the dangerous stuff while he gets all the glory, the TV ratings, and the heftier contract. Aha! I’m getting the shaft. (Okay, that was assistant Jim, but it fits nicely.) 4. (Me again- 9 years ago) I always enjoyed English class. I couldn’t wait for writing assignments. People sometimes laughed or cried when they read my stuff. I’m 37 and I’ve kept my ramblings hidden in a blue notebook in a closet for twenty years. Aha! Maybe God wants me to “come out of the closet” and share my writing with others. For the record, I am 46 now and still wish my writing Aha! moment would have occurred sooner. But either way, I intend to keep writing. If Oprah doesn’t like it, she can sue me.